On self-compassion
Some days, especially in recent times, I wake up feeling quite sad. I feel off, not quite understanding why. I feel like curling up into a ball and switching off mentally.
On days like this, I struggle to understand what the purpose of life is. Especially when things don't seem to be working out as I would like, I feel stuck, and often feel drained on top all these, when I expose myself to a barrage of social media content. Side note - I love the way Sam Harris describes social media on his recent podcast episode - "a psychological experiment we have all been enrolled into without consent".
I would describe this as a sunken feeling and tug in my gut.
So how do I recover?
I practice self-love
I recently read an article by David Cain on Raptitude.com which really resonated with me. I realized I had been doing some form of what he described in my own way.
On a typical day like what I described above, I tend to do a series of one or more of the following:
I say to those close to me i.e. my partner or a close friend, "hey I am feeling 30% today" (I got this idea from an episode with Esther Perel on Tim Ferris's podcast) - this transparency takes off some of the mental load of having to explain my mood and allows for the much needed space.
I meditate. Although I make a conscious effort to meditate every day, some days I miss it, but on the days described above, meditating helps keep me centered, still and present. I meditate with Waking Up with Sam Harris.
I mentally remind myself to take each hour as it comes, and that it's going to be okay I just need to get through each minute, each hour until I get to the end of the day.
Sometimes I reach out to a friend or two or family, just to say hi, and ask them how they are doing. I do this because one of my key values is connecting with others and I get energized from forming genuine connections.
I exercise - sometimes virtual yoga or a cardio/strength workout video. This typically takes more of an effort but I have noticed that my mood is often much better right after, so I remind myself of this and just start, without thinking too much about it.
I read a book while listening to soothing music. This is one of my favorites as I am able to disappear into the world of the book and there is something soothing about being in a serene place both physically and mentally.
I wear my favorite face mask and soak my feet in warm and sweet-smelling soapy water. This just feels bliss.
I cook a healthy meal while listening to my 'burning man' playlist on YouTube. I like the feeling of accomplishment and the creativity. Caveat - this feels better for me when it's a meal kit in which the ingredients are already there and I just need to follow the recipe :)
I watch a show on Netflix - I used to do this a lot more in the past, but I realized I felt much worse as I used to get sucked in and binged. Now I only do this as a last resort, and if I do, I limit it to 2 or 3 episodes of a show that I already like.
I practice gratitude. I have a gratitude log, that I occasionally fill, but on days like the one described, I make a conscious effort to complete it. My perspective almost always changes after I spend some time reflecting and documenting my thoughts.
I don't engage with social media or content from my group chats. I think this is obvious, but still worth a mention.
There are probably a few more things, but I'll stop at my favorites. This will differ for everyone. I think the most important thing is to take each minute, each hour as it comes and practice self-compassion by indulging in healthy self-soothing activities.
In addition to everything I mentioned above, I have a therapist I see every other week. This has been incredibly helpful for my mental health. I now have a level of emotional awareness that allows me to navigate through life from a much kinder lens and perspective. I highly recommend it.
On that note, I'm sending nothing but good vibes and love your way.
You are here and you matter.
Please feel free to share what you do to practice self-compassion in the comments section below!