On living a fulfilled life

Have you ever caught yourself wondering - How did I end up here? Why do I feel so unfulfilled? Is this all there is?

You are not alone. I asked myself these questions for a long time, from my undergraduate years when I was studying to become a Chemical Engineer, which I had no real interest in becoming, to working a first job which was great at first, until I realized I needed to make a transition because I was simply not being fulfilled.

I will walk you through my journey and how it unfolds across different chapters of my blog. For now I will leave you with a few hindsight lessons.

I read a book a few years ago called 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson and I had what my business school professor would call 'a flash of insight'.

It is a basic but powerful concept. Every choice you make daily will determine which curve you're on. Choosing choice A vs B by the smallest amount everyday will add up tremendously over time.

Let that thought sink in for a minute.

Here are 3 things to consider if you're feeling stuck or unfulfilled right now:

1. Carve time out to introspect:

The first time I was introspective was when I was preparing to write my business school essays. The second time was right after reading 'The Slight Edge' and this is where I really felt the impact. My emerging values were not surprising, what was surprising was how unrelated my actions were to my values so I knew I had to course correct.

Take some time to introspect on the things that matter to you and on your core values. Recognize the patterns that make you feel alive. Jot these down, put them on a vision board, or a spreadsheet, anything you need to make them resonate. These ideas will form your 'Life template'. Revisit them as often as you need to because with this foundation you will begin to build your actions towards a more fulfilling life.

2. Socialize your ideas with allies:

I felt stuck and lost in my 'chosen' path to becoming an engineer. I chose it because it was the 'sensible' thing to do. I chose it because I liked math and sciences at school. I ignored my fascination and curiosity when I excelled in psychology. I ignored the heart-driven pull to study to become a psychiatrist (which at the time I thought was the same as a psychotherapist). While this feeling of being lost persisted, speaking about my ideas to those around me slowly brought clarity to the core of who I am.

Let's assume one of the actions from your introspection was to transition into a more fulfilling career. Make a habit of speaking to your network of friends or allies, especially those on the path you are interested in. Bounce off ideas, this will spark creativity and kick start your motivation to do research and to take the smallest actionable steps towards your desires and aspirations.

3. Take the smallest possible step:

I waited too long for the 'perfect' plan. I created a psychological barrier of entry. I am risk averse. Quitting my job to get a degree in my 30's scared the living daylight out of me. Every time I tried to make the leap, I stumbled and ended up in the same spot of dissatisfaction.

I was chatting with a friend who suggested, in the most subtle way, that I pursue coaching. "Try it out", he said, “what's the worst that could happen?" It was one of the best decisions of my life - taking the smallest possible step towards what I can only describe as my purpose in life.

Start with your MVP. Write that song, read the first page of that book, write the first chapter of that blog, whatever it is, start now.

There is no secret to what makes a life fulfilled. Live your life according to your values. I really think it may be that simple. The trick is to do some work to figure out these values and what they mean for us.

We all have unique life journeys. My value of 'connectedness' will mean something completely different for you than it does for me. It will take some time to dig deep and to understand the things that matter to you and that is perfectly fine. Be kind to yourself in this process.

My favorite saying is that happiness is not a destination, it is a journey. While you may not be at your desired 'goal post', you are already on that journey. You are already living a fulfilled life on your journey.

Your life is a cumulative string of decisions you choose to make every single day. 

Be deliberate. Be present. Be fulfilled.